Most of the time, he didn’t care. Neither about feelings, nor about situations, mindsets, people. He was happy with how things were, how his life turned out to be and how calming the underestimation of his abilities was. Adapting his plans to how things turn out, not quite deciding what not to change about his futur, that was his way of going around problems.
Accompanied by a friend, in search for some cigarettes, they were strolling through the night. It has gotten cold, the people around them, wearing several layers to both not catch a cold and not to be recognized in their disguise, weren’t noticing anything strange, when they asked one of their own, to come with them, to guide them.
Arm in arm in arm, they got further away from the mass of people trying to avoid conversation except of declaring every few minutes their state of being drunk and foolish and not knowing what to do. This girl between them, was laughing, trying not to stumble and to act as if she also had fun this evening. She had always been able to catch his interest, as she appeared to be a quiet listener at first, but behaving like an adorable storm after you got to know her. The three of them knew each other well, their secrets, their fears, everything but the interesting things he wanted to know about her. He would have liked to know her layer by layer, where she was most vulnerable and what she was afraid to tell. He liked the way she played with his mind using only her words and her eyes to make him wonder whether she was the one she ought to be.
Just the right dose of suspicion, growing fonder and fonder of his idea to discover her and to get to know her way better. Taking the lead was his only chance, and as he knew his feelings were mutual with his other friend, no more words were spoken.
A new drug was found, a new way to get satisfaction – this girl appeared to be a challenge and something to get his mind of his boredom. But to accomplish this, he needed help. She wouldn’t let him in on his own, her mindset was way too strong and her ongoing deception would make him a fool. The cigarettes were out of their mind, as soon as that idea formed in their heads.
Nobody before them was able to crack this girl, to get to know her, inside and out. They wanted to be the first, as they also were the first to realize what kind of girl she was supposed to be for them, what she could be for them.
She wouldn’t open up within reach of other people, that was for sure. So they took her away, some place where it would be comfortable enough for them to touch her. At first, she was confused, she couldn’t believe somebody would try to get through to her. She hesitated, she didn’t want them to feel what she felt, she didn’t want them to see what she saw. But being stronger, and persistent, they hold onto every string they had to get to know her for real, to find her, to share her feelings and to show her that she wasn’t alone. Being interesting enough to be fought for, she embraced the attention she was given at first. It didn’t take long for her instincts to step in, her fear of being cracked open without being ready, by the wrong person, in the wrong place. She started to cramp and she started to close up again. Not expecting the flood of questions by the two persons, she felt the closest to, she shivered and she tried to back out. Overwhelmed by their tenacity and their strengh, she almost let fear take over and paralize her. But then the will of her storm took over her voice, her body and her feelings. No more fearing of cracking open, no more fearing the way she could seem. Loudly she bursted out of her shell and built a wall to only be conquered by her.
He saw her reaction, he know what would come, her pushing away meant him losing the fight. Afraid of other losses, he tried to back out, but it has already happened, he lost his face to her. She stood infront of him, bigger and brighter than she’d ever seemed. That’s when he realized, it wasn’t his place to get what he imagined she owed him. His friend already fled, grieving about how it should have been him, how she was supposed to let them act upon their wishes.
The boys let her be, and got back to the people, still roaring about how they would like to spend their evening without any more difficulties. Having happened in just a few minutes, she pushed the memory away. As it wasn’t one of her proudest moments to have lost something so worthful, she never wanted to think about it ever again.
This girl kept every moment in her mind, replayed it over and over again. It doesn’t remind herself of her winning but of her almost losing her inner thoughts which give her peace.
The boys didn’t realize that they not only succeeded to crack her open, but they managed to break her during the process.
Interesting doesn’t mean that you should find out everything about it. Sometimes the suspicion is way more fulfilling than the fact itself.